When will I start loving my child?

It’s a tough and frightening question that has no easy answer. Everywhere you can read about or hear about people with post partum, people who were so depressed they almost caved under the stress and pressure of being a mom. For me it was never like that. From the moment I saw the plus sign on the pee stick I loved him. For me the love was strong and immediate and somewhat scary. So scary that for the first part of my pregnancy I didn’t dare writing in my journal for fear of jinxing it. Crazy, I know.

It’s true though. I may not always love everything he does but I always love him. Even as a baby, after his first set of shots at 2 months old hen he had been crying non stop for 7 hours. Even then did I love him. I didn’t love the inconsolable cries but my love and my gratitude for being blessed with this little miracle of a baby boy overwhelmed me and chased away any negative feelings.

It is true though no matter when it happens, the love for a child cannot be explained unless you’ve experienced it for yourself. It is primal and so much greater than any other love.

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2 thoughts on “When will I start loving my child?

  1. I did not have PPD, but I also was not one of those women who were in love at the first plus sign (or the second one for that matter). Even now, almost 6 months into my second pregnancy, I figuratively love this child, but it’s not the same kind of love I feel when my three year-old does something obnoxiously cute or gives me random kisses or cuddles… At least, not yet. I think it’s because it’s very unreal, for me, until the moving starts (which it has now)…but it’s still kind of unreal until that beautiful baby is plopped into your arms after hours of labor. The love changes right then and there, in my opinion. It develops a whole new reality.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Amanda πŸ™‚ I think it’s fascinating how nature has wired us and I truly believe that love for our child happens, maybe not when we expect it to but when it should and that’s probably the least thing we need to fear about becoming a mom πŸ˜‰

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