And then she walked away

She did it twice that day. The first time she saw us she turned around and walked the other way. I wasn’t sure if you noticed.

The second time you called out for her…and she ignored you. She was on the other side of the street and you called out for her again…and again…and again.

Then you became silent and you stared down on the ground and stood as steadfast as only a heartbroken 2 year old can.

I fell on my knees and hugged you. I didn’t know what else to do. So I told you that I was sorry she had ignored you and that it was wrong to do so. That it was mean and that I understood that you were hurt and I apologized for it. I told you in both languages to make sure you really understood.

I think you did. But I also think it broke your heart.

We passed by where she used to live and I had to explain to you that we couldn’t go there cuz she’s not living there anymore. I had to explain that we couldn’t see her anymore.

I wanted to have some brilliant explanation that made sense but the truth is I didn’t. I don’t. I still don’t know why she ignored you, why her kids who used to adore you ignored you.

So I do what I know best. I hug you and cuddle you and I explain that we don’t always understand people’s actions and that sometimes people are mean even though you did nothing to deserve it.

I don’t know what happened and maybe I’ll never will. But wether or not it was something I did or didn’t, there is no excuse for taking it out on you. No excuse.

Sometimes I wish I could just say that people are mean and don’t talk to anybody cuz everybody’s going to hurt you eventually. But I can’t because I don’t believe it. I do believe in the goodness of other people and I want you to grow up to do the same. Maybe it’s a coincident and maybe you’re not sad, maybe you’re just bummed or getting sick. But just incase you’re not I want respect you as a human being, as my beloved son.

So for the third night in a row I snuggle up and apologize for something someone else did and I try my best to remind you of all the people that love you and that you love.

It’s all I know.
And I pray to God it’s enough.


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