5 am is the new 9 am! Toddler world 101

If my toddler could talk it would probably go a little something like this:

– OMG OMG OMG!!!! Mommy mommy moooommmyyy!!!!!! (Eagerly tapping me and pulling off my comforter)
– zzzzz huh?
– I’m awake!!!! Let’s watch a movie!!!!

It’s 5 am but no point in resisting. When the toddler is awake at 5 am it’s never “kind of awake” or “could consider going back to sleep”. It’s always a state of “I just had five red bull so I’m wide awake”. But since my darling toddler does not speak, well….does not make much sense when he speaks it’s a lot of clapping, tapping, pointing, come, go, yes and no..,.and guessing. Oh the guessing. Guess right, and you’ve got a happy toddler. Guess wrong and the wrath of the toddler is soon upon you. Kind of like when you make your toddler wait for the iPod to start up before turning on a movie. What in mommy time is minutes is years in toddler time. But you got this down to an art right now. You even made cheesy bread to satisfy your toddler. And tea for yourself.

So.
Comforter on the couch with toddler tucked in underneath? Check!
Cheesy bread? check!
Drinks? Check!
Pocahontas in the blu-ray? check!
Happy toddler? Check!
(It’s not even 5.30 and not a single year from the toddler. Doing good!)
Tea in travel mug for mommy? check!
(If you need to ask why the tea is in a travel mug you’ve clearly never had a toddler…or a child for that matter)
Let’s see.
Happy toddler? Uncheck.
What the?
You thought you were in the clear? Well, you probably were…until you thought o the brilliant idea to use the travel mug with one of the toddler’s favorite characters on it.
*point point point, poke poke poke*

-????? (Remember, 5.30am, you’re still not at your brightest)
– *point point point, poke poke poke*
– ooooooooh…..eh…..hang on

Turn off Pocahontas? Check!
Turn on “My neighbor Totoro”? Check!

Voila! You’re now free to enjoy your tea while your toddler lays on top of you eating cheesy bread watching his movie. But you better remember to wave to ALL the characters as they say hi, goodbye or goodnight. (Don’t worry, your toddler will be sure to remind you if you forget)

(Kill me now. Praying that the toddler will agree to a communal nap later)

I love you my beautiful toddler.
If I’ll do this again tomorrow?
– ?! (Are ya kiddin me?!)
Yes I will honey, yes I will.

#whatswrongwith9am

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