MOVING TO SELF HOST www.raisingatiger.com

Moving my blog to self host it at

WWW.RAISINGATIGER.COM

 

I’ll do my best to make sure you get all the updates and what nots. Bear with me for a few days while I get all the kinks worked out. Hopefully.

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WA, I miss you!

Dear State of Washington,

I miss you today. I miss you so much it hurts.

I miss your flannel shirts and tan colored boots. 

I miss the beautiful scenery of Snoqualmie pass.

I miss Pike’s place market.

I miss Starbucks (omg I miss starbucks! I’ve been trying to copy your guys rooibos vanilla latte for 2 years but nothing taste the same)

I miss elephant’s ears.

I miss fourth of july by lake Sacajawea. (I love how I now can spell it without asking google first)

I miss Fred Meyer and Super 1 Foods (I will NEVER take your organic produce section for granted ever again Super 1 foods!)

I miss 3 dollar movies (they’re on average 20 here 😦 )

I miss there being a church member around every corner (that sounded so much better in my head. The convenience of having friends close by, not the possible stalking vibe you might have got from that sentence)

I miss you WA

I¨ll see you again sooooon!

Hatred isn’t innate behavior – it is learned

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(Text says: “…and everyone love and respect each other…”)

What do you want your legacy to be?
What do you want your children to remember about you?
What do you want people to say about you behind your back?

You can’t force people to think a certain way or act a certain way. People have tried but failed. (Hitler – remember him?)
What you can do is try your best to make who you think you are and how you think you act, how you perceive yourself match the real you, the person you want to be.

If you don’t want your mother fcking child to be cursing so goddamn much when he’s friggin four years old then watch your own language.

If you want your child to be well mannered – lead by example. Actions always speak way louder than words. Help you neighbor, carry groceries for someone or help someone across the street. If you’re new to it, set a goal of doing one good thing a day. In a year you’ll have 365 good deeds to be proud of.

If you want people to speak well about you behind your back – you can’t. (Wait what?!) The first thing you have to remember is that people are individuals. Just as you probably don’t like everybody you meet, everybody’s probably not going to like you. And what did I say in the beginning? You can’t force people to do the things you want them to do (at least not I the long run) People will be saying what they want behind your back but if you choose to do good and choose to be good you strengthen the odds of that being something good.

WWJD – what would Jesus do? If you’re in doubt or don’t feel like you have what it takes to do something or you just “don’t wanna”. Take he time to ask yourself “what would Jesus do?”. Jesus would choose to do good and he would choose to go the extra mile. You can too.

Start with something simple. Start with yourself and your children in you have any. If you want the world to be a better place teach your children that it is. If you want the world to be more loving teach your children to be loving, lead by example.

Hatred begets hatred. I’m not saying that you should lie to your kids and tell them the world is a perfect place. I’m simply saying that if all they hear is negativity and how bad the world is and how bad they are, they going to start believing in it and it’s going to turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. 2 year olds don’t need to be watching the news live broadcast from the latest war zone. 7 year olds need not be playing R rated video games. Don’t expect your 9 year old to truly understand the concept of divorce or know how to deal with it if you as a 22, 35 or 45 year old don’t understand or know how to deal with it.
Don’t leave your infant crying alone in a crib and don’t lock your child in his/her room at night so you can go grocery shopping in peace. Don’t tell your 4 year old that she can’t play with Lisa cuz Lisa has two mommies. Don’t scold your 5 year old for talking to a “scary biker”.

If you want the world to be a better place, show your children that it can be, show them that it is.

What do you think? Can we change the world for the better or are we already screwed? 😉

Ps. I may not make the cutest drawings in the world but I really enjoy doodling. So if you must comment on the doodles – be nice!

Doing the right thing isn’t rocket science! – Just don’t be a jerk

Being good and doing the right thing isn’t about being like Mother Theresa. It’s about choosing to do the right thing even after you fail, after you do something you shouldn’t have done. It’s about setting things right.

I read a blogpost on Huffingtonpost.com by Josh Misner, Ph.D. It was an apology letter to the ticket agent at the Delta Counter and I quickly realized that this blogpost embodies much of what I want to convey when I say “always do good”, “always be good”. It’s not about trying to be flawless by any means. I don’t think anybody can. It’s about trying to make this world a better place. Leave this world a little better than it was before you came into it. 

The blogpost is about when Misner was out flying with his kids, after being delayed and missing his connection flight he comes upon what he perceives to be a very snarky customer service representative at the Delta desk who tells him he cannot help him and that he has so go to the automatic kiosk. Misner has reached his limit and starts going off much like a soccer mom at at peewee game when the ref makes an “unfair” call.

Realizing what he’s done and that he didn’t exactly set the best example for his kids, and that his kids were looking at him for guidance on how to deal with the situation he decides to go back to the counter and deliver a heartfelt apology. Come to find out the reason the customer service representative couldn’t help him was because he was on his way to help a passenger by delivering an emergency kit. In the end the customer service guy accepted the apology and told Misner he had just made his day.

This is what it’s about. Misner could definitely have handled things better from the beginning but I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where we wish we would have handled things the right way from the beginning and didn’t. What defines us, what defines our character is what we do when we find ourselves having shortcomings, when we find ourselves acting less than desirable. Do we cower in a corner ashamed of our actions? Do we justify them by saying that we were stressed/tired? Or, do we take the proverbial “bull by the horns” and face whoever we did wrong and apologize? Needless to say, the latter is the better option. The latter option is the one that defines doing good, being good. It is my hope that we can all learn from situations like this, blogposts like Misner’s and start acting, do a little better, be a little better.

 

Just lemme pee alone!

The house is under siege…well you know, not for real but the toddler’s sick….and anybody who’s ever had a toddler knows that if the toddler ain’t happy…ain’t nobody happy.

So for the past two and a half days I’ve been peed on, puked on, feverishly hugged like only a boa can hug its prey. I’ve been pillow, mattress and blanket. I’ve been entertainer and food dispenser. And when that wasn’t enough I was the shoulder to cry on and the person that got blamed because “put the movies back in order or not at all or I will keep screaming and by the way blu-rays aren’t DVDs you nincompoop”. Of course junior didn’t actually say that. It was implied in his rant, tears and flailing arms.

In other words. I’ve been a mom. And in the past 2.5 days I’ve done my very best to be super mom. So I hug and I change the sheets and lay next to my little ball of fever and ick and pat his head. I whisper softly “mommy’s here” and hear a short whiff and a sigh of relief….and I pray that I did it right. I do it because it’s the only thing I know. The only thing I know how to do. I cannot not be there for him. I cannot not lay on a mattress in his room to be closer when he needs me.

Last nigh I slept 4 hours. The night before that 3. If I can make it 5 tonight I’ll be golden. Or I’ll take 3 and junior can have my other 2 without fever and without a tummy ache. About 30 minutes ago junior managed to fall back asleep with just a pat on the back and me pulling down his blanket so he doesn’t get too hot. That means it’s time. Time to sleep. Take it or leave it. Now or never.

How not to greet at child

Pet peeve of today: People that make me see giant AMBER alert signs and causes visions of child abduction in my mind.

We all know them. We’ve all had to face them. The complete strangers that come up to you on the street, at the supermarket, postoffice what have you, and tries to engage your child, stroke their cheek or even worse, pick them up.

Dear sir/mam, You are currently invading my child’s personal space and he does not approve of your action. Please refrain from such activities in the future.

I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually said that out loud even though I’ve often wanted to. Instead my answers include blank stares, no, just walking away or the juvenile versions of “Hell no” or “fucktard”. I do apologize but I’m pretty sure I’ve used the latter expressions at least once.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a pretty laid back person (most times), but as everybody else I have my pet peeves and one of them is people who do not know how to greet a child. Last holiday season I wrote an open letter which I never ended up publishing but it went a little something like this:

Dear sir/mam,

Holiday season is upon us again and this is the time when people often want to share their love with others and the “christmas spirit”. All too often it includes a lot of strangers (people we do not yet know) wanting to say hello to junior, especially when we are outside. Junior is very cute and very flirty when he wants to be but also has very clear limits on what and who he allows into his personal space. Therefore please be advised that a no is always a no, wether it’s him shaking his head or actually saying no. That means “back off, you’re invading my personal space and I do not appreciate it”. It is not going to change by you persisting. It is not going to change just because you talk to him or worse, say out loud that he doesn’t seem to like you or seem scared but it’s ok because you have kids  yourself (alternatively you are a grandparent).

Excuse me but it is completely irrelevant.

I’m sure you are a wonderful parent/grandparent. I am sure your kids/grandkids absolutely love and adore you. But I’m also sure that’s because they already know you. It doesn’t matter how lovely others think you are, to my son you are a stranger. So when he says no, don’t get all butt hurt, just back away and give him some space.

Please realize that wether my child is in the comfort of a wrap being carried by me or in a stroller covered in a blanket that does NOT mean he wants you to poke him, pinch his checks or stroke him on the cheek. (Again, I’m sure you mean well but you are a complete stranger. Btw I don’t know a single child in the world who likes having their cheeks pinched.)

If he doesn’t seem interested in talking to you he probably isn’t. And it probably isn’t “just because he’s shy”. Most often it is because he has made a conscious judgment call that he just does not want to talk to you. You do not interest him.

Do not try to explain away my son’s behavior. He needs your understanding, not for you to patronize him or treat him like he doesn’t know what’s best for him. (Newsflash, in this case he does, you don’t!)

When my son is walking next to me, for the love of everything that’s holy, do NOT pick him up! Unless he’s running into traffic and I’m too far away to catch him in time, whisking him off his feet is NEVER ok! It will automatically trigger the mama bear response in me. I will go all warrior viking on you. Understand that when you whisk my son off his feet I see AMBER alert and think of people like John Wayne Gacy, not innocent stranger who wants to hold a cute child. It’s not because I am overly nervous, it’s because you, a complete stranger, just picked upp my dearest child.

So, to keep the holiday spirit please know, that unless my son openly engages in conversation with you or tries to shake your hand he is off limits to you. Remember, a no is always a no wether the person saying is is 2 or 72.

Sincerely yours,

The mom

I judge you….i judge the heck out of you

I know. I shouldn’t….and so like everybody else I wouldn’t dream of ever judging anybody.

Buuuut…..since we’re not living in a dreamworld there are times when I do judge (I’m sorry!). So mamas (and dads), here’s my confession. 

I judge you when:

– You stand outside the gymboree place and feed your 2.5 year old pepsi for a snack. I know, maybe you forgot your healthy snack, maybe it’s his once a week allotment…but still…..i see you every week and although I wouldn’t tell you (unless you asked me) it’s just wrong.

 

– You but your 2 year old ON TOP OF YOUR CAR when you’re parked along a sidewalk and have to reach in the car to get something. I’m not really sure what you were thinking. There’s a perfectly fine sidewalk to put your toddler. The roof of your car should be a no-no and so I will inadvertently assume you might not be parent of the year material….or that you are the AFV kind of parent of the year material.

– You brag on Facebook about having a drinking party and post pictures of you shitfaced with a shot glas in one hand and your baby in your arms. This is when I am one step away from calling the cps on your dumb face…until i remember that I don’t really know you and you’re just in a random Facebook group I’ve been meaning to unsubscribe to.

 

– When you ask the formula feeding mommy why she doesn’t breast feed and before she has a chance to answer start lecturing her about the benefits of breastfeeding and the cons about formula feeding. It makes me want to give you a high five, to the face, with a chair. Don’t get me wrong. I am ALL FOR breastfeeding. I think everybody should breastfeed. But if someone isn’t for whatever reason, don’t give them crap about it. If they want to know the benefits of breastfeeding they can ask, you don’t have to shove it in their face. Maybe  they can’t breastfeed for one reason or the other. Maybe they can but it’s a sensitive subject. So no….just don’t bring it up. It makes me assume that you are one of those people that doesn’t care about anybody else’s opinion except your own.

 

That concludes my confession for the day. I know I shouldn’t judge, but sometimes I do. You’d never know and I try not to, but sometimes I can’t help myself. Do you judge other people? I dare you to post about it!